Prairie Views

~ Dreamy abstraction in Four Square House on the Pairie

Month: June 2009

To those who are married, … Not married .. and soon to be married.

Sent to me via email and I wanted to share this with others.

To those who are married, … Not married .. and soon to be married.

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. … She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work.. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any mo re. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one… Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and sai d, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you…

If you do, you just might save a marriage..

Baby Gift Basket

This is my first attempt of putting together a basket. Inside is the baby blanket I made the other day and with a bouquet made of purchased onesies and a teething ring. This was a fun project I will do again with other gifts. Hmmm… who has a birthday coming up? How about Fathers day? I am thinking maybe a BBQ basket or a gadget pack or ……………..

Shelves for Fridge


Shelves for Fridge
Originally uploaded by Lakenvelder

The shelves that came with the refrigerator were made of plastic and just were started cracking. A check online reveiled the repalcement cost of $74.00 USD each and that is not counting shipping. So a trip to home depot and a few cuts in shelving used for pantry here we are. Not as practical since I lost the produce bins but it will do for now. Buyer Beware: DO NOT buy refrigerator with plastic shelves make sure they are using metal on the frames. I notice when looking at refrigerators they all seemed to have gone away from this.

Chai Sugar Cookies


Chai Sugar Cookies
Originally uploaded by Lakenvelder

This is a variation of sugar cookie. With the simple addition of a few spices you can make these simple cookies.

To the sugar cookie recipe add:

3/4 teaspoon ground cardamon
3/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon coconut flavoring

Drop on ungreased cookie sheet 2 inches apart. Bake according to recipe. Remove from oven and let cook for a couple of minutes. Roll in powdered sugar.

Cuddle Baby Blanket


When I was living in Hawaii I would see these flannel type blankets that were great for newborns to toddlers. Although there are variations this one is like what I remember seeing there. It is two layers of flannel sew together usually at least 20 inches square. This one pictured above is 24 X 39 inches. You use it to swaddle a baby or a baby blanket. It is just the right thickness for warmer climates when it cools down a bit in the evening. This is not a Hawaii print but with the palms and monkeys it give a very tropical feel to this blanket.

I did not use a pattern but just cut two pieces of the flannel the same size and the sewed them together. You can go a simple as you like or more elaborate as shown in the second link. I am planning on sewing more when I find flannel on sale and have them ready for gifts.

Make a Baby Blanket

Baby Talk Flannel Blanket

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